Meditation

Ifran Shani

Spending time alone vs being lonely Growing up I always felt lonely. I wasn't able to connect in a meaningful way with friends, family or anyone really. This led me to spend more and more time by myself. At this period in my life loneliness is what I felt. Even when I would be around people I would feel it. So how is that one of the most powerful experiences I did recently was choosing to spend time by myself? What shifted and what is the difference? I think it was due to a shift in my relationship with myself and how I related to others. Letting go of this need to prove myself for others to accept me, loving and respect myself. People actually started to want to spend more time with me. At first this was strange, there was always a voice in the back of my head telling me that I was not worthy of the attention, love or respect. But when that voice became quieter another voice grew. This was the little boy who never got attention, and he was finally getting it. The voice of ego, selfishness and pride became louder. The battle between these 2 sides of myself in my mind seemed never ended.. Until one day I decided to move to a small fisherman village where I didn't know anyone and my neighbour was the ocean. This time of solitude was completely different to my earlier years of if but somehow felt familiar and necessary. Removing myself from all other people, influences & distractions I was able to see clearly. Who I was, what I stood for and what I wish to bring into this world. This time of stillness and solitude showed me the the lonliness I felt the years earlier was just a feeling of being uncomfortable in my body. Once I felt truly comfortable in my body, I am the entire universe, no matter where I go and if I experience that with or through another then that is a delightful bonus. If you are also feeling lonely right now, ask yourself how comfortable are you with yourself and see if changing that gradually brings the right energy around you.